Gonzo
By Gonzo

Editor's Note: While most Featured Feline biographies are written by the humans, Gonzo felt it necessary to pen his own autobiography. We couldn't argue with that!

:::::Gonzo runs and locks Tigger in the bathroom and Stumpy in the bedroom so they do not see what he is doing:::::::

Hi I am Gonzo the Cat. I am also known to some as Gorganzola, Gonzilla Gonzo, and numerous other nicknames. I am a two-year-old loony Maine Coony kitten. I spend most of my days on the Meow Chat boards, and I am the proud proprietor of Gonzo Mice Cream Store. I prepare such specialties as Rocky Rodent Mice Cream, Ratspurry Shrewbit, and my favorite Chocorat Chip Miced Lattes.

I am a substantial size kitten of 23 pounds. I am not fat though, I am just a little fluffy. I actually have a very large body, and I am just the most handsome cat ever. (Mom always says that to me, but never in front of my brother Stumpy or my sister Tigger). I think one of my other nicknames might be uuuufffff, because everyone always says that when they pick me up.

::::::::Gonzo pulls up a fluffy chair and flops off the front and back to get more comfortable to continue his story::::::

Well..... Once upon a time about two years ago, Mom had a cat named Fritter that went to the bridge. She was Mom's favorite cat, (again, never said in front of Tigger or Stumpy), and Fritter got very sick with Lymphoma and failing kidneys. Mommy was heartbroken when she lost her.

Mom thought a new kitty would help her feel better and that's when I come into the picture. Mom started researching breeders on the internet looking for a male Maine Coon kitty, and it seemed that every kitty in existence that year was a girl. She searched high and low and then late in August a breeder finally contacted her back with a picture of me.

Mom went to the breeder's house and checked out the kitties and me too of course and instantly fell in love....Well, with a face like mine, who wouldn't? Anyway, she took me home and made me the happiest little kitten ever.

I was a fearless kitten right from the start. Even as a tiny baby, I would steal all of my big brother Stumpy's food. I would chase Tigger the Calico Terror all over the house, and nobody ever dares to chase a calico. I even jump right on the kitchen table and steal dad's food right out from under his nose. I am definitely king of the castle in this house.

:::::Gonzo rolls over and puts his belly in the air to continue his story::::::

Let me see, what else can I tell you, how about likes and dislikes? I like food. I like it a lot! My favorite treats are BaaBits and MooBits. They are delicious little meat jerkey treats. I love to play WWF wrestling with my brother Stumpy. I chase and pounce him all the time for my daily work out.

I don't like anything on a string or mice that squeak. One of those squeaky mice on a string attacked me when I was a kitten and had to be cut off of me with a knife, and now whenever I see string or mice I run and hide. I also hide whenever the dishwasher door is open because the dishwasher attacked me once before too when I slipped off of the counter and fell in it. That dishwasher bit me, and Mom didn't even believe me! I think the dishwasher, the string, and the squeaky mouse plotted against me, but nobody ever believes me.

Well, that is my whole story. You can stop by the mice cream store in the meow chat village sometime and have a treat if you would like. I also have a photo page of my cute little face if you want to see more of me at http://homepage.mac.com/gonzocat.

::::Gonzo waves goodbye to everyone and falls off to sleep:::::